Collection of Captain Charming one shots
by Flslp87
Summary: These are one shots for Captain Charming Friday. You'll read my take on certain prompts on here and then can hop on over to JDMUSICLOVER on fan fiction and read her take on the same prompts. Enjoy
1. Family Sing Along Time

June prompt was: David makes sure his mate rides back in his car on the trip back to Storybrooke from NYC. Set during 5-23 (The catch is to keep the fic under 1000 words)

 **Family Sing Along Time**

Exiting Neal's apartment to drive back to Storybrooke, David plucked the keys out of Regina's hand, "I'm driving, he yelled and then skillfully manipulated the situation so that he had Snow, Jekyll and Zelena loaded in Gold's car before they knew what hit them. Looking around for his last passenger he saw that he had his arms around Emma and they were looking quite cozy, even though they were in full view of everyone. "Putting a stop to that right now," he thought.

Break it apart you two, and taking advantage of the fact that they had actually listened, he pushed Hook in the passenger side seat, with Emma's "But dad' ringing in his ears took off.

Once on the way, he felt the excitement singing through his veins and turning to Hook, shouted "sing with me, Row, row your boat,..,"

Killian looked over at Dave and thought maybe coming through the portal had knocked something loose as he was acting rather odd, "mate, you feeling alright?"

"Never better! Just happy to be on a road trip with you. Let's sing. And then he started in on a rousing chorus of "row, row, row, your boat"

Killian looked over his shoulder at Snow and raised his eyebrow. Her response was to just shrug her shoulders like she had no clue what was happening either. Playing with the buttons on the music device, he read, "classic R&R" on the little picture, and settled back to listen. Dave gave him a side eyed look, "you don't like MY song?" his tone suggesting he was offended.

"Why is it necessary to row one's boat when one powered by sails is so much better? Besides this song fits me so well," and they listened and he bobbed his head back and forth and pointed to out what was being sung about _,_ _Clean shirt, new shoes. And I don't know where I am goin' to. Silk suit, black tie, I don't need a reason why. They come runnin' just as fast as they can  
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man. _

David rolled his eyes and as the song faded, shouted "how about this one," and proceeds to sing, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, his name is my name too, whenever we go out, you can hear the people shout,..."

Killian sat there, a perplexed look on his face, "who the bloody hell is this John person and why would I want his name, when Killian suits me?" And then pushing another button on the device, he read '. Hits from the 70's, and sat back to listen. When YMCA came on, Snow started singing and on part of the song was waving her arms around. "Dave, mate, what's that about?" And he hitched his thumb toward her.

Tapping him on the shoulder, Snow responded, "I'm making the letters, here let me show you," and by the time the chorus came around again, the whole car was dancing along.

Once the song was over, all the occupants were giggling like loons, until David started singing "99 bottles of beer on the wall, you take one down and pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall"

Wiping his hand across his face, Killian looked up at the ceiling, and then over at the driver, "pray tell, do we have to work our way down to 1? And David responded with a nod. "Well when you're done with that, care to explain why beer would be on a wall?" David just shook his head and continued to sing.

Thinking they needed to locate something better, he fiddled with the device and read 'Beach Boys'. Relaxing back in the seat, the music started up and they all sang " _If everybody had an ocean, across the U.S.A, then everybody'd be surfin, Like Californi-a. You'd see 'em wearing their baggies, Huarachi sandals too. A bushy bushy blonde hairdo. Surfin' U.S.A._ " And as they sang, David added a head bob, that reminded Killian of a turtle, and a hand movement that looked like a wave. Before he knew it, he had even started mimicking the movements, that is until his talking device buzzed. Pulling it out of his pocket, he saw a picture of Emma's lad. "Henry, lad, I'm glad you called. This song here, mentioned wearing baggies, aren't those the little pouches your mom puts your sandwich in for your school lunches?"

As Killian said goodbye, David started singing about names. "Henry, Henry, Bo-benry, Banana, fanna, fo-fenry, Fee, fy, mo-menry, Henry." As he finished, from the back seat someone shouted, _let's do Emma,_ and David sang, "Emma, Emma Bo-bemma, banana fanna fo-femma, Fee, fy, mo-memma, Emma!" After they had gone through several other names, he thought why not tossed out his own name, so everyone sang, "Killian, Killian, bo-billian, banana, fanna, fo-fillian, fee, fy, mo-millian. Killian."

Thinking he really needed a drink of rum, he fiddled with the music device some more, until he saw the word 'Beatles, and wondering why someone would sing of bugs, pushed the button and immediately his attention was captured as they were singing about a man who sailed the sea, and since it was such a catchy tune, by the time they were singing, we all live in a yellow submarine, he was singing with the rest even though he had no clue as to what a yellow submarine was.

Arriving back in Storybrooke, and seeing Emma standing on the sidewalk, David pulled close to her, jumping out to give his baby girl a hug. When she bypassed him for her pirate, he stopped to wait until Snow tugged on his elbow, "Not now David. It's Emma's turn" and then she pulled him toward granny's.

Killian couldn't keep the happy smile off his face seeing his Swan again, and after her I love you and kissing her senseless, they walked into the diner to hear the radio blasting, Love Shack...

I hope you enjoyed it. Now hop on over to JDMUSICLOVER on fan fiction and check out her take on the story. And please let us know what you think!


	2. Killian Goes Shopping

Our prompt for this fic was "Dave teaches Killian how to shop online."

This is my take on the Capt Charming prompt above. The trick is to keep it under 1000 words.

 **Killian Goes Shopping**

Killian and Emma had settled into a routine of sorts with their living arrangements and he was getting adept at playing games with Emma's boy on the picture box, but using the magic box was not something that gave him comfort. He preferred getting his information from books, thank you very much.

And the fact that he enjoyed books, is how he came to be in his current dilemma. He and Emma had made a point to have what she termed 'date nights' each week and he had taken those opportunities to purchase trinkets for her. A new pirate key fob for her yellow vessel, a new tube of her favorite lotion, a bar of chocolate, all trinkets he could purchase at the local market. But the item he currently wanted to purchase, he did not want to be the talk of the entire town.

It had all come about as he had been browsing through an assemblage of booklets that came in the post, when a lass wearing a fetching blue corset caught his eye. Knowing how beautiful his Swan looked in red, he decided she needed a corset like that of her own. And once he opened the booklet, he was more than happy to learn that said corset had something to match for the bottom half too. Of course there were decisions to be made, but he would cross that bridge when he was ready.

Henry had helped with the first part of the problem when he asked him to explain something called plastic money, which was much easier to carry than doubloons. Once they had gone to exchange some coins, he had the tiny card in his hand, he was ready to order, but then when the lad had asked for specifics, he had decided Emma may not want her unmentionables mentioned to Henry after all. So here he sat, waiting on Dave.

A knock at the door had Killian jumping to answer, "Dave, mate, so happy you're here. Come in, I need help."

"No problem. I'll help with anything."

"I wish to purchase Emma a gift using the magic box, and I'm not sure how to go about it."

"Oh that's no problem." He sat down and went through the steps on how to turn on the computer. "Do you know what you want to buy?"

"Aye, here's the booklet I wish to purchase from," he says proudly pulling out the magazine with a flourish and presenting it to Dave, "Wouldn't Emma look beautiful in such a corset?"

David takes one look at the cover and stands up "I'm out of here!" And takes off toward the front door.

Standing there holding the magazine, Killian follows, "Whoa Dave. You did say anything."

Standing next to the front door with his hands on his hips, David gives Hook a dirty look, "You know, Hook, there are some things a dad REALLY shouldn't have to see."

"Point taken. But who else can I ask? Now will you help me please… for Emma?"

Conceding with a long suffering sigh, Dave sits back down, "Remember not too much information please."

Typing in the basic information, David hurries so he can leave. He _really_ does not want to be here, talking to the Pirate about _this._ Thinking _'stupid man,' just wait until he has a daughter, then he'll understand,_ before his thoughts are interrupted.

"It says type here, Dave, what does this mean? There's demi, padded. No I don't think Emma needs padding, he says quietly to himself, which David overhears.

"Hook, I said, not too much information," David interjects, "Just the little number next to the one you choose.

"Push up, hmm now that's a possibility," he continued, as if he hadn't been interrupted. "Who knew there were so many decisions when it came to corsets."

"Hook!"

"Sorry mate, I'm trying to envision your daughter in each" then snickered seeing the look on Dave's face. "Fine, it's and he rattled off a number."

"And for the bottom, these panties. Look at all these," and holding the magazine out toward David, he points to each as he names them, "Thongs, cheekies, bikini, boy shorts?"

With the magazine shoved in his face, David put his hands over his ears and starts chanting 'blah, blah, blah' over and over again, drowning out Hook's voice.

Looking at the different types of panties, Killian could see the advantages to each, thinking maybe he'd buy her more than one pair. "Dave, what do you think? Think Emma would look good in these?" Pointing to a pair of pink panties.

"Hook, just make up your mind. I thought you said this gift is for Emma."

Killian smirked at his mate, "Oh, they are but trust me, I too shall enjoy unwrapping my treasure."

"Are you really going to make me hurt you so you can't enjoy your gift?"

"Sorry, I just want your daughter to be happy. Here's the numbers of the ones I want."

Trying to reign in his impatience, because he did want his daughter to be happy, Dave, bit his tongue and showed the pirate how to finish the process. "What about a credit card?"

Whipping out the new card, Hook displayed it proudly, "See, Henry helped me obtain it."

"Why didn't you ask him to show you how to order those," Waving his hand toward the magazine.  
"things"

"I may have never been a father, but even I know you don't discuss a mother's undergarments with their child."

"But with the mother's father, it is ok?"

"Well, look at it this way. I didn't ask Leroy. I guess I could have asked Snow but,"

David got an appalled look on his face. "Are we done?"

"For now, he smirked. "A drink? Laying the magazine down they walked out of the room. Later that night he went looking for the magazine but found it missing. In its place was a sticky note that read; "Thanks Mate"

"Bloody Hell!"

Now hop on over to JDMUSICLOVER on fan fiction and read her take on the same prompt. Be sure and let us know what you thought.


	3. Captain Charming and Sword Fighting

As Killian and Emma settled into their life together, Killian found himself, not only more immersed in Storybrooke life, for now he had a 'job', but he and the Prince had truly become friends. They worked together to keep their town peaceful and on Friday nights, it had become a tradition of sorts, that while Emma was catching up with her mother, he would meet Dave for a drink to start off the weekend.

He left the house with plenty of time to make it to the Rabbit Hole to meet Dave, but as he walked past Granny's he heard Henry's voice. Wondering what the lad was up to on this Friday evening, he rounded the corner to see Henry and several of his school friends, armed with sticks, 'sword fighting.' When Killian came around the corner Henry was trying to imitate 'the spin move' but his feet became tangled and he almost fell.

When Henry looked up, he was a bit red in the face, " Killian, hi!" he stammered with a sheepish tone. "I was just showing the guys some of the moves you've been showing me. You busy?"

Killian stepped into the circle of boys, "I was just on my way to meet your grandfather but I have a few minutes. What did you have in mind?"

"Can you demonstrate a riposte and a parry?"

"I'd be honored," he replied feeling proud to be asked. Picking up a large stick, Killian assumed the stance, sword in right hand, left hand up and weight balanced on his front foot. Holding his "sword" in front of him, parallel to the ground he faced Henry, "en guard." As Killian showed the boys one move and then another, he completely lost track of time, forgetting that Dave was waiting.

David walked into the Rabbit Hole, an extra spring in his step, as it had been a good week. Some happy endings had been returned and Hyde hadn't caused much trouble. He ordered a beer and after finishing it and Hook still hadn't shown up, he grew concerned. His first thought had been that his daughter had waylaid the pirate but she was with Snow. Then he worried that some new villain had come to town, so he tossed a few bills on the table and went looking for his friend.

Walking by Granny's David was met with quite an unexpected sight. Before he could be seen, he ducked back around the corner and peered around at the scene before him. Killian had stood him up to play with Henry! And when he heard Killian say, "No lad, you should disengage there, not attack. Left hand up. Light on your feet," he knew he had to get involved.

David, picked up a sword and waded into the middle of the group as if preparing for battle. Henry was imitating the disengage move as Killian had suggested, but stopped as soon as David moved in front of him. "No Henry, two hands, like this."

"But Killian says," Henry began, until David turned his blue eyed stare on him. David continued and aimed his stick sword toward Henry, '" See, then you can do a circle parry like this, " he explained as he demonstrated.

Hearing David's voice giving instructions that countermanded his, Killian looked up from where he had been showing how to feint. "Now just a minute here, mate" he said to the Prince making sure to give an extra pop to the 't'. I am teaching the lad how to have finesse and to be light on his feet when swinging a sword."

David stopped what he had been doing and placed a hand on his hip, "Wait a minute. Are you saying _I_ don't have finesse when _I_ swing a sword?"

Killian gestured with his hook toward the prince, "About as much finesse as an ogre running through a forest."

David moved closer, "Well, Pirate," he began, imitating the popped 't', I'll have you know I've fought dragons with my swordsmanship skills. And I've got some skills, right Henry?"

Henry looked at both grown men and shook his head as they stood there staring at each other. "Hey leave me out..."

Killian sneered at Dave, not letting Henry finish his sentence, "Dragons, pah! Slow, lumbering beasts, they are."

David took a step closer, "I'd take my two-handed, broadswordmanship against your sissified prancing anytime!" The he dropped his stick and left Killian standing there staring after him.

"Sissified?! Prancing?!, Killian sputtered, before he too left for home.

Emma wondered what she would encounter once she got inside the house. Henry had called and given her the heads up about what had gone down at Granny's this afternoon so she knew the basics. And after what she had witnessed when she dropped Snow off at home, she wondered what Killian was doing. Opening the door, she dropped her keys on a table, and hung her jacket on the coat rack just as Killian was coming down the stairs.

"Killian? Are you ok?"

"Aye love. Am I in trouble?" He asked rubbing the back of his neck.

Taking a step closer, Emma reached and took hold of his hook. "Why do you ask?"

Looking up at her from under his lashes, he responded, "In my defense, the prince referred to my sword fighting style as sissified and prancing. That's just not something a pirate wants to hear!"

"Killian," Emma whispered, "I'll let you in on a little secret. When I dropped off my mom at home, we caught dad practicing your 'sissified, prancing moves',

Killian raised both brows, "Really?"

"Really. Better now?"

He smiled that cocky smile that never failed to make her heart beat just a bit faster, "Much better."

"Good. Now take me upstairs and show me some of your sissified, prancing moves."

Before she had even finished her sentence, he picked her up and ran up the stairs, "As you wish" he murmured covering her lips with his.


	4. A Lesson for Henry

Last installment in these double feature stories this hiatus. Our prompt this month was: David and Killian give Henry 'the talk'.

 **A Lesson for Henry**

Charming kissed Snow and turned to leave. "Oh, I didn't tell you. Henry's coming by the station after school today."

Snow stopped what she was doing and gave him a concerned look, "Really? Do you know why?"

Shrugging his shoulders, "No idea. Thought you might."

"Hmm, no I don't. Maybe he wants to talk to you about Regina. Or maybe dating advice. " she snickered.

He rolled his eyes and left the loft.

Killian sat at the desk that he had been assigned, bouncing a pen on his hook to a rhythm only he could hear."

Lifting his head, David gave him a disgruntled look, "Will you stop that?! You're driving me nuts!"

Killian looked up, "Sorry mate, I did not realize it was annoying you. Now tell me why we are here."

Putting down his pen, Dave commented. "I told you, we're waiting for Henry."

"Alright, but why are we waiting on the Lad?"

"Henry said he wanted to have 'a talk'. Now doesn't that sound important?

Killian turned to him, "Aye, that it does," he said as Henry walked in.

David stood up and gave his chair to Henry and then took a seat on the corner of Killian's desk.

"So Henry," David began, "what can we do for you?"

Henry looked from one to the other, "Why are you both here?"

Killian spoke up, "Two heads are always better, so to speak."

Henry began, "Well, I have this problem…," he stopped as if unsure what to say next.

David assumed that Henry's question was delicate so to save him the embarrassment, he decided to help the boy out. "I'm sure Hook and I can answer all your questions. Between the two of us, that's a lot of years."

"And experience." Killian smirked.

"Watch it!" David said in a warning tone.

David and Killian looked at each other as if asking which would go first. Finally, Killian took the initiative and said, "There comes a moment in every lad's life when time comes to trim his fleet."

David piped in, "Exactly. The herd shouldn't be too big, but you also don't want to shear it too quickly either."

"That is true" continued Killian. "A trimmed fleet is a must and once you know your destination, you set your course."

"That's right. You don't want to catch yourself going in circles in the pasture."

"No, that would never do. It is important to not get too much headwind, or you might lose control. And dropping anchor too soon, well, that would be bad form.

"Oh most definitely. If the horse gets out of the barn too early, that can ruin everything," David agreed.

"It is important to pay special attention to when the time come to tweak the jib," started Killian.

And David finished, "and grease the saddle."

"And Henry," Killian said in a very serious tone, "never rush to dock. Sometimes sailing around the harbor can make for an enjoyable excursion."

"That's right," finished David. "One must never run before they've walked, as there are many fish in the sea, sheep in a herd and cows in the pasture."

He looked at Killian, "Can you think of anything else?"

Killian gave Dave a confident look and wink. "I think we have given the lad a thorough education in these matters." He looked over at Henry, "Well lad, do you have any questions?"

Henry had been looking back and forth between the two men, the entire time they had been talking. When Killian asked him the question, he decided he had enough and stood up to go. " No, I think I've got it."

Picking up his backpack, he walked toward the door. Just before reaching it, he turned back to see, his grandfather and Killian sitting there with proud looks on their faces. Rolling his eyes at their antics, he said, "Thanks for the sex talk but it wasn't necessary. My mom gave it to me months ago."

David looked at Hook before back at Henry, "That isn't why you're here?"

Sighing Henry said, "No, I was going to ask you to keep an eye on my mom, Regina."

Once he was gone Killian turned to Dave, "Oh, that went well."

David ran his hand over his face, "Think we're in trouble with Emma?"

Killian quipped, "If Swan is angry, the talk was all your idea."

Walking into the house later, Killian wasn't sure what to expect, but as Emma came down the stairs, he gave her a sheepish look. "Am I in trouble?"

Taking his hand she pulled him toward the stairs.

"Wait, Swan. Where are we going?"

Giving him a little grin, she replied, "I thought we could take a little sail around my harbor then I'll let you dock at my port."

Killian smirked, "This man's work is never done, is it?"

"Hardly," she giggled before they hurried up the stairs.

David walked into the loft, tossed his keys on the table and walked around the counter to discover the origins of the heavenly smell. Feeling Snow wrap her arms around him, he asked, "So did Emma tattle?"

"Emma?" she snickered, "Oh, no! That was Henry. If the horse gets out of the barn, that can ruin everything? Really David! That's the best you can come up with?"

David turned around and cupped her face, "What can I say? I've never had to give that talk before."

"Well, I think we better brush up on your vocabulary before Neal gets older, or you'll be the talk of the town," she reached up and kissed him.

He started moving her backward as he remarked, "So what do you say we go see if I can keep the horse in the barn until it's time to open the door?"

For the next week any time David or Killian were out in public they had to endure snickers as Henry had shared the story with others, who had shared it, who had shared it, …..

Thanks for reading. Now go over to Jen's spot and read her take on the same prompt. She's JdMusiclover


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